The biblical 10 Commandments were set in place to keep God's people from entering the gate's of hell, in short. My 10 Commandments are set for the same reasons.
Now, I did not put my most prominent pet peeves in this list, for I try to forget that people are capable of such . . . we shall call them ignorant atrocities. Therefore, no matter how hard I try, I can't remember them without experiencing them. Does that make sense??
Anyway! Here are my personal 10 Commandments!
1.)Thou shall not touch my food without permission.
I will kill you.
My food is my happiness. Food is in fact one of my favorite things in the world; I think it will go for my top five. Don't believe me? Well, here's a story.
In eighth grade around Christmas, I was suffering from serious chocolate withdrawals. I think was going on month 2 of not having chocolate--that's a serious criminal offense. A friend of mine, however, gave me two Christmas-themed chocolates as a gift. If you know me, you know that I don't tend to savor my food. I will eat it immediately and love every second of it. But due to my withdrawals, I decided to savor the chocolate. My plan was to finish my science test, and then I would eat one of the chocolates. I got up to turn in my test, leaving both chocolates on my desk, and when I headed back to my desk, I saw the most horrifying sight. The boy behind me was popping one of my chocolates into his mouth. (Men, a little word of advice, NEVER touch a girl's chocolates; they are sacred.) A little unhinged from not having chocolate in two months and watching someone eat something so precious to me, I grabbed hold of his desk (it's one of the ones where the seat and the desk are connected) and flipped it.
For everyone wondering, he was not injured. However, he was mentally scarred and learned a very important lesson.
2.)Thou shall not whisper in my ear.
Now, I fully understand that this is a turn on for some people, but that is far from the truth for me. The very idea of hot, moist air mixed with saliva entering my inner ear is emotionally paralyzing. It is totally different if someone is whispering next to my ear, but hot damn, if it is inside my ear, I squirm and such a big part of me wants to cry. Moral of the story: Whispering in my ear is not okay.
3.)Thou shall be a person.
Be a person? What does that mean?
Being a person includes not being a douche.
Signs of you being a douche:
Leaving immense amounts of trash on your table at a restaurant when it's your job to throw it away.
Making fun of someone for a disability, passion, looks/traits that are beyond their control, etc.
Not using your turn signal when you are switching lanes. That includes getting off the highway and wanting to get in the far right lane, switching lanes, and turning. You know, for getting out of your lane.
Not knowing how to drive in general.
4.)Thou shall wash your hands after you go to the bathroom.
I don't care what your views are of washing your hands with soap vs. using hand sanitizer. When you use the bathroom, one of the dirtiest places, and walk right out without washing your hands because you "have hand sanitizer in your bag", that's disgusting. Think of everything you're touching with your dirty hands! Personally, I like to wash my hands thoroughly, and then, if I have it, use hand sanitizer after. Please please please just wash your hands before touching the doors that lead out of the bathroom and whatever else you touch.
5.)Thou shall not put your feet out of the car window.
I don't know why I hate this so much, but it just bugs me . . . like it really irritates me.
6.)Thou shall not reply to my long text with a "K".
I put thought and effort into my text. Unless I was giving you directions, you better say more than "K", like "Oh my, you are glowing with wisdom and beauty. How could I ever measure up to your magnitude?" Yes, I think that would be an acceptable reply.
7.) Thou shall not jaywalk.
Jaywalk: To cross a street without regard for approaching traffic. Many a times I have crossed busy intersections, but that was after checking for traffic and realizing that I could get across the ENTIRE street safely and without stopping. If I have to stop in the middle of a busy road to cross, you better believe that I'm going to find the nearest cross walk and use that!
But you know what? Go ahead, endanger your life. Do what you want:
Oh my sweet baby Jesus in a manger, that drives me absolutely insane!
8.)Thou shall flush the toilet.
I get the whole "conserve water" thing, but when I go to sit down and use the toilet, I don't want to be sitting over someone else's urine or poop or used toilet paper or period remains. Girls, please please please please ALWAYS flush the toilet if it is your time of the month . . . I feel like vomiting thinking about it.
9.)Thou shall not sit in front of me in a movie theater.
If it is a full theater and you don't have a choice, fine, but if there are plenty of seats open and I clearly have my feet up, go somewhere else. Please.
10.)Thou shall not block my path and walk slowly.
Okay, I actually have a kind of funny story about this. My . . . junior year? Yeah, I think it was my junior or sophomore year in school, I was walking down the hallway (I walk pretty fast) and it was empty besides these four freshman. Now, the first week of school, I'm lenient. I won't push, I won't yell, I'll be relaxed because I know people may still be having trouble finding their classes, etc. Because it was the first week of school, I slowed my pace down and walked behind them. Not only were they walking as slow as a snail and taking up the WHOLE hallway, but one girl made the group stop, and then she said, "Oh my God! This is just like High School Musical!" I have never felt so ashamed in my life.
I walk fast. I like getting to places early or on time. I mean business. Therefore, I hate getting stuck behind people that walk slower than I. I can't stand it when people walk super slow, and then proceed to take up the entire stretch of hallway, whether that be at school, hallway, or sidewalk. Just stick to one side! Your group of four can afford to have two people walk in front and two in the back; it won't kill you.
I know what you're thinking. It's one of two things: God! You are so right in every way! Or wow, this girl is really uptight . . . .
If you're reading this today, then Happy Thanksgiving! If not, then I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving and ate all the food and all of that good stuff!
Be optimistic because the world isn't quite as beautiful in black and white!
You can do anything you put your mind to!