In the fourth grade, we got to write a book and get it published. You can only imagine my excitement as an aspiring author, even at the age of 9! And guess what little treat you guys get! You get to read my book!! Yay! *cheers and applause* Thank you, thank you.

Now, this book did have illustrations, but as I am feeling incredibly lazy on this particular day, I will not put them in. Perhaps later in life I will redo this blog post and put the pictures in. I don't know. We'll see.
Anyway, here's Indy and the Kidnapper written by 9 year old me!


Once upon a time there was a beautiful little girl named Indy. She lives in a valley and in a small cottage with her mom. Every morning Indy would climb up the mountains (they were really hills, but they were so big they were the size of mountains) and sing for an hour with the birds and the deer. At night she would go into the forest and sing for an hour with the deer, birds, raccoons, and wolves.

One morning when Indy was walking up the mountain an evil man wrapped her up in rope, raped her mouth shut, and took her away. Indy tried and tried to get lose but she couldn't. The man took her to his nasty cottage and strapped her to a chair and asked, "Where is your valley's bank?"
"I shall never tell you, never ever, ever," Indy replied.

"I'll just not give you any food or water until you tell me then."
The next morning Indy got sick of not eating or drinking so she started to sing. All of the animals came. They untied her. Indy gave them all a hug and then said, "You guys can go now. This I must do." All of the animals left in a hurry. Indy took a stick and kicked down the door. "You can't kidnap me and get away with it."

The kidnapper grabbed a stick, and they started to fight. After five minutes Indy finally broke the kidnapper's stick. Indy tied him up in rope and taped his mouth shut. Indy sang and the animals came. She sat him upon two deer and she rode on a wolf. When they got to a really big hill, they dropped him. Indy gave them all hugs and promised them she would come back at night and show them all the good drinking areas, homes, and where to get fabulous food.

Then, Indy ran to catch up with him. Indy picked him up and walked him to the sheriff. 
"Mister, this guy kidnapped me and I would really like it if you would take him off of my hands," Indy said.
"Are you Indy?" the policeman asked.

"Yes, I am."
"Now, please take him away. He is really heavy."
"Oh, sorry," the police said.
He came back and said, "What did he do to you?"
"Well, he tied me up in rope, taped my mouth shut, yelled at me, and didn't feed me or give me water."
"Stay right there," he said. When he came back he had a ton of papers.

He sat them on his desk and started to call people. After three minutes a lot of people started to come with a ton of food. Indy was incredibly happy. She gave people hugs, talked, and ate almost all of the food. Indy's mom bought Indy a dog so she could protect herself better. Indy was even happier than she was before.

The End.


Yes, you're welcome for that wonderful tale.

Notes on the book:


I would just like to say how incredibly proud of myself that I said "shall" at the age of nine. *pats myself on the back*
"Now, please take him away. He is really heavy." Okay, that's just funny to me for some reason:)
I feel I truly summed up who I am by this one sentence: "She gave people hugs, talked, and ate almost all of the food." 
And can I just express how difficult it was to copy this on here without correcting my grammar mistakes!!! I caught myself at least eighty-three and a half times putting a comma between a dependent and independent clause.


But yeah! I hope you guys enjoyed my little book!!


The world is your oyster!


Remember: tickling is no longer fun if the person who is being tickled pees their pants.


You're a pretty cool dude, I guess.


Sayonara!

I like to think of myself as a fairly easy-going person . . . at times. However, as a human being, I am prone to have steam pour out of my ears at the stupid things people do. 
The biblical 10 Commandments were set in place to keep God's people from entering the gate's of hell, in short. My 10 Commandments are set for the same reasons.
Now, I did not put my most prominent pet peeves in this list, for I try to forget that people are capable of such . . . we shall call them ignorant atrocities. Therefore, no matter how hard I try, I can't remember them without experiencing them. Does that make sense??
Anyway! Here are my personal 10 Commandments!
Enjoy


1.)Thou shall not touch my food without permission.

      I will kill you.
      My food is my happiness. Food is in fact one of my favorite things in the world; I think it will go for my top five. Don't believe me? Well, here's a story.
      In eighth grade around Christmas, I was suffering from serious chocolate withdrawals. I think was going on month 2 of not having chocolate--that's a serious criminal offense. A friend of mine, however, gave me two Christmas-themed chocolates as a gift. If you know me, you know that I don't tend to savor my food. I will eat it immediately and love every second of it. But due to my withdrawals, I decided to savor the chocolate. My plan was to finish my science test, and then I would eat one of the chocolates. I got up to turn in my test, leaving both chocolates on my desk, and when I headed back to my desk, I saw the most horrifying sight. The boy behind me was popping one of my chocolates into his mouth. (Men, a little word of advice, NEVER touch a girl's chocolates; they are sacred.) A little unhinged from not having chocolate in two months and watching someone eat something so precious to me, I grabbed hold of his desk (it's one of the ones where the seat and the desk are connected) and flipped it. 
      For everyone wondering, he was not injured. However, he was mentally scarred and learned a very important lesson.

2.)Thou shall not whisper in my ear.

      Now, I fully understand that this is a turn on for some people, but that is far from the truth for me. The very idea of hot, moist air mixed with saliva entering my inner ear is emotionally paralyzing. It is totally different if someone is whispering next to my ear, but hot damn, if it is inside my ear, I squirm and such a big part of me wants to cry. Moral of the story: Whispering in my ear is not okay.

3.)Thou shall be a person.
  
      Be a person? What does that mean?
      Being a person includes not being a douche.
      Signs of you being a douche:
        Leaving immense amounts of trash on your table at a restaurant when it's your job to throw it away.
        Making fun of someone for a disability, passion, looks/traits that are beyond their control, etc. 
        Not using your turn signal when you are switching lanes. That includes getting off the highway and wanting to get in the far right lane, switching lanes, and turning. You know, for getting out of your lane.
         Not knowing how to drive in general.
         
4.)Thou shall wash your hands after you go to the bathroom.

     I don't care what your views are of washing your hands with soap vs. using hand sanitizer. When you use the bathroom, one of the dirtiest places, and walk right out without washing your hands because you "have hand sanitizer in your bag", that's disgusting. Think of everything you're touching with your dirty hands! Personally, I like to wash my hands thoroughly, and then, if I have it, use hand sanitizer after. Please please please just wash your hands before touching the doors that lead out of the bathroom and whatever else you touch.

5.)Thou shall not put your feet out of the car window.

      I don't know why I hate this so much, but it just bugs me . . . like it really irritates me.

6.)Thou shall not reply to my long text with a "K".
 
      I put thought and effort into my text. Unless I was giving you directions, you better say more than "K", like "Oh my, you are glowing with wisdom and beauty. How could I ever measure up to your magnitude?" Yes, I think that would be an acceptable reply.

7.) Thou shall not jaywalk. 

      Jaywalk: To cross a street without regard for approaching traffic. Many a times I have crossed busy intersections, but that was after checking for traffic and realizing that I could get across the ENTIRE street safely and without stopping. If I have to stop in the middle of a busy road to cross, you better believe that I'm going to find the nearest cross walk and use that!
      But you know what? Go ahead, endanger your life. Do what you want:

      However!!!!! If you are taking someone/something with you like a child or dog, you cannot stop in the middle of an intersection! That is so beyond dangerous and could kill the child or dog. They don't know better! They don't have the power to say no and find a safer way! I can't stress enough how important it is to cross a street safely and not kill innocent creatures. 
      Oh my sweet baby Jesus in a manger, that drives me absolutely insane!

8.)Thou shall flush the toilet.

      I get the whole "conserve water" thing, but when I go to sit down and use the toilet, I don't want to be sitting over someone else's urine or poop or used toilet paper or period remains. Girls, please please please please ALWAYS flush the toilet if it is your time of the month . . . I feel like vomiting thinking about it.

9.)Thou shall not sit in front of me in a movie theater.
 
      If it is a full theater and you don't have a choice, fine, but if there are plenty of seats open and I clearly have my feet up, go somewhere else. Please.

10.)Thou shall not block my path and walk slowly.

      Okay, I actually have a kind of funny story about this. My . . . junior year? Yeah, I think it was my junior or sophomore year in school, I was walking down the hallway (I walk pretty fast) and it was empty besides these four freshman. Now, the first week of school, I'm lenient. I won't push, I won't yell, I'll be relaxed because I know people may still be having trouble finding their classes, etc. Because it was the first week of school, I slowed my pace down and walked behind them. Not only were they walking as slow as a snail and taking up the WHOLE hallway, but one girl made the group stop, and then she said, "Oh my God! This is just like High School Musical!" I have never felt so ashamed in my life. 
      I walk fast. I like getting to places early or on time. I mean business. Therefore, I hate getting stuck behind people that walk slower than I. I can't stand it when people walk super slow, and then proceed to take up the entire stretch of hallway, whether that be at school, hallway, or sidewalk. Just stick to one side! Your group of four can afford to have two people walk in front and two in the back; it won't kill you.



I know what you're thinking. It's one of two things: God! You are so right in every way! Or wow, this girl is really uptight . . . .

If you're reading this today, then Happy Thanksgiving! If not, then I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving and ate all the food and all of that good stuff!

Be optimistic because the world isn't quite as beautiful in black and white!

You can do anything you put your mind to!

Stay beautiful!

See ya!

My entire life, I’ve been obsessed with warrior stuff. Therefore, my ideal body is one that is muscular and capable. I feel that when I am strong enough to lift heavy objects and carry my very tall and surprisingly heavy male friend, Ryley, have enough endurance to run two miles, and, well, just having endurance is nice, that’s when I have reached my weight goal. 

You are awesome! 

You are the cooliest!

DO YO THANG, GURL!

Now, for people who get bullied for their weight. I honestly have a pretty blunt view for these kinds of situations: (Pardon my french) fuck them. People who find pleasure in putting you down and making you feel worthless do not deserve to be in your life and they don’t deserve the satisfaction of knowing that they are getting to you. Don’t cry over the words these people spit at you! Don’t change yourself for people who surround themselves with only “perfect” people and “perfect” things! Alas, I’ll talk about bullying in more detail in another post down the road. 

And may I just express how difficult it was to find just the right picture for #1-#7? I nearly died searching for so long! You’re welcome for my dedication.

Those are my views for weight and I hope that maybe I have provided some form of inspiration or reassurance?!?!?!! Well, I hope I did . . . 

Have a fabulous day full of adventures and happiness.

You are a fantastic human being, keep up the good work!

Dasvidaniya!