I said I was going to do a sad post, I know! I just couldn't bring myself to do it and I am so sorry for destroying all of your hopes and dreams . . . I am a horrid person. *crawls into a corner and cries*
Okay! I'm all better!
You know when you're about to do or say something and you think for a second either before or after you do it that perhaps this isn't the best idea? Well, that's my life. So here a something things that I do that I probably shouldn't.
#1 Eject my USB without securing it.
I think I have "safely eject USB" once or twice in my entire life. I'm probably going to regret it one day, like really regret it, because all of my files are going to be gone or something tragic like that, but until that happens, I will continue to pull it out as soon as I'm done. Can you say #yoloswag ?
#2 Drive aggressively
I admit, I'm not the best driver. However, I do understand "right of way". Did you know that if you are pulling out from a parking lot, you actually have to yield to people on the main street? WHAAAAT?!? Yes, it's true. It drives me insane that so many people don't give a shit about other drivers and feel like they are the only people on the road and the world should stop and go at their convenience when they're driving. Oh. My. God. Stahp. Because of these terrible drivers, I assert myself, praying that they get the hint that they're driving like a bloody idiot.
Maybe that isn't safe. Perhaps I should refrain from this.
But probably not.
#3 Say weird things
Example numero uno: "Sweet beans".
Another thing I say frequently: "Oh sweet baby Jesus in a manager".
Lawl and lawd are another example. I don't mean that I type this, no, I actually pronounce them like this sometimes, and I'm not too sorry about them actually . . .
#4 Tell terrible jokes
I have a wide variety of jokes, like too wide, like I'm sure that the government is watching me when I look up new jokes.
I tell dead baby jokes, Holocaust jokes, racist jokes, women jokes, pedophile jokes, etc. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!! I don't condone them . . . but I love them dearly.
Want to hear some??? Okay!!! Yes!
No, I can't do it. You'll just have to look them up on your own. Reddit has a pretty good selection :)
#5 Climb on people
I have this new thing that I like to do where I act like a sloth and the person I'm near is a tree. I climb on them in the most uncomfortable and awkward way, and then I proceed by whispering in their ear "Majestic as fuck". It's quite beautiful.
Whenever I see two people wrestling or fighting, or just on top of each other, I have this thing where I scream "Here comes Evy!" and then I run and fling myself on top of them. If you were in theatre with me, you know to run if you hear this.
That's about it for now.
It's kind of strange doing such a short one, huh? Oh well, that's what you got!
I would like to, for just a moment, share my optimism with you and hope that you catch like germs from a very contagious sickness . . . like a very positive and not at all deadly plague :) The world is full of so many opportunities and we are all born with a unique talent that we should take advantage of! We can do literally anything! I mean, hell, we, as humanity, have so much potential as it is! Go out and do your thing!!
I'd just like to thank you guys again for reading my blogs:) If there's anything you'd like me to write about, feel free to comment or email me or whatever!
You're a fascinating creature!
The stars shine for you!
Life is limitless!