I was struggling and struggling and struggling some more because I know that my blog is overdue for something that pulls at the heartstrings, but I am in a good mood and don't want that to change by writing something that may or may not make me cry. Therefore, today we shall smile! 
Yas!

Okay, so I'm a big believer in the power of music. I find it beautiful how certain lyrics bring up memories you haven't thought about in years, how a note may make you feel like the sun is shining, and how an arrangement of chords can put goosebumps on your skin.

Now, I know what you're thinking. Calm it down there, kiddo. You just said this wasn't going to be a serious post, but it's getting kinda heavy in here . . .

I am not a liar! So here is my playlist to having the greatest damn day of your life!

Here we go!
(Also, the below are in no particular order, I just like counting things!)

#1 Smallpools - Over & Over

 This song is so upbeat and so carefree! I love it and it always puts me in a good mood! And 1:57 just sounds pretty cool:)

#2 WALK THE MOON - Sidekick

WALK THE MOON is my life right now, at least for this week before a new artist wins over my heart. Anyway! This song is so fun and had me dancing like an idiot for like two hours at work -- not even mad. I was going to dedicate this to one of my best friends, actually, and then he talked about making out and realized he was talking about a love interest . . . it would have been awkward. Anyway, have a listen!

#3 Billy Idol - Dancing with Myself
   
 It's Billy Idol, obviously. This song, though terribly long, just gets you dancing whether you're with friends or BY YOURSELF, like the song states constantly. This song rocks, enough said.

#4 Cash Cash ft. Bebe Rexha - Take Me Home

Just yes. Everyone needs a little dance music to get them going, and this is definitely one of those yeah-I'm-dancing-like-an-idiot-in-my-car-what-you-gonna-do-about-it kind of songs.

#5 Glee Cast - Valeria 

Yes, this song was taken from Amy Winehouse (yeah? I'm pretty 99% it is, we'll just say it is). Anyway! I love this woman's voice, so I prefer the glee version for once in my life. I always find myself either doing the Carlton or grabbing someone and trying to swing dance whenever I listen to this song. Love it!

#6 The Maine - Like We Did (Windows Down)

As the title suggests, this song is PERFECT for just driving around with your friends with the windows down and having the time of your life. The Maine is awesome! I mean, come on, look at that sexy album cover!

#7 Owl City

 Besides two or three songs, literally every Owl City song puts me in a great mood. His lyrics are so random and silly, his music is upbeat, and it's just really cool music. However, I'll pick one song in particular . . . . Deer In The Headlights. 
This song is kind of funny, actually, if you really listen to it!

So, I've been doing so much editing with my novels lately that I haven't been getting any real writing done. WITHDRAWLS ARE REAL!

 Therefore, I'm going to write a little something for you guys!

Here we go!




    Tired from a long day-- a long week is more like it --I sit down in the grass, my legs grateful for the rest. I look around for a moment. This is my spot, my own little slice of peace from the world. I found it when I was little, around the age of nine on one of my many solo adventures. Now I am twenty-seven and still end up here somehow whenever I'm stressed. 
    It's nice here in this small field in the center of the woods that no one dares enter anymore because they're too preoccupied with their phones and clubs and televisions. I'm glad no one comes here, though; it keeps this place out of the harmful hands of humans and to the loving care of Mother Earth and myself. I planted some flowers here when I was fifteen, and now the field is blossoming more beautifully than ever before with a gorgeous array of color. 
    Sighing, I lay down and close my eyes, leaving my other senses to do the work instead of my eyes. The sun warms my skin, leaving a lovely tingling sensation. I like the sun during late spring the best, this sun above me now, for it isn't as strong as the summer or as weak as any other season. Right now the sun is just as it needs to be. The wind blows, carrying with it the sounds of nature. I hear the birds singing in nearly every direction as they soar from one tree branch to another. I hear the rustling of the leaves, the bright green and healthy leaves on the old trees that tower over me. And I hear the soft, distant sound of the babbling brook on the other end of the field.
    I run my fingers over the blades of grass, still amazed by their queer texture. My chest rises and falls with the earth and my heart beats in time with its rhythm. I used to not understand what it meant to truly feel "in tune" with your surroundings until I came here one day and let everything go. 
   "I didn't know anyone else came here."
   Nearly pissing myself, I jump and face the voice, every molecule in my body ready to fight.
    A man stands just a few feet from me, and I feel stupid for not hearing him approach. 
    "You don't have to worry. I'm not going to attack you or anything," He laughs lightly and looks away from me, taking in the view. "Just here to relax." The man smiles warmly at me and begins to walk towards the center of the field.
    Skeptical and feeling terribly vulnerable, I watch him as he strolls leisurely and sits down just as I had when I arrived today. I remain standing for the longest time, not quite knowing what to do as I've never had company in this spot, especially not with a strange man. 
    Thinking, what the hell, I march awkwardly towards him and say in nearly a whisper, "I didn't think anyone else knew this place."
    He looks up at me, almost in surprise that I came over--I'm just as astonished as he is--, but then smiles. "Me either. It's nice though isn't it?"
    "Yeah, it's beautiful."
    "What's your name?"
    I'm hesitant to answer at first, but he seems sincere and I suppose I feel almost safe.
     "Lynn. What's yours?"
    He pats the ground next to me in invitation and I accept the offer. "Hunter."
    We sit in silence for the longest time, but I don't mind it. It's actually comfortable.
    Slowly, I sink back into my nearly meditative state. 
    "Looks like rain." He says calmly after what feels like hours of quiet, peaceful bliss. I had actually almost forgotten that he was here.
    "Rain?" I open my eyes and look to the sky. Far off the clouds are churning and dark gray. Groaning, I sit up, "There wasn't suppose to be rain today!"
    "Are the forecasts ever right?" He chuckles.
    "True, very true."
    "I should probably get going then. It's a long walk back."
    "Afraid of a little rain?" I tease.
    He stops and looks down at me for a moment. A mischievous grin forms on his face and he sits back down nonchalantly. "Of course not!" He then runs his fingers through his hair nervously, "I just thought . . ." 
    I wait for him to finish, but he doesn't. Odd. 
    Before I know it, we're sharing our lives with each other. I'm surprised by how comfortable I am with him to just open up the way I am and he seems equally amazed that he's doing the same. He tells me that he's from Idaho, just a few states away from here. When I ask if his favorite food is potatoes, he laughs hard and says he wouldn't mind it if he never has to eat another potato again. We exchange stories back and forth for what feels like ages. And I actually end up telling him about my grandmother who died this past summer. I haven't talked about her in months, to be honest.
    Taken by surprise, we look up when we feel drops of water hit our heads.
    "The rain!" We shout at the same time, having completely forgotten.
    Comforted by the slight chill and gentle pitter-patter of the rain, we don't move for the longest time. Instead we laugh lightly and tilt our heads back.
   "Have you ever tried to drink the rain as it falls?" I peer, feeling a little nervous for asking such a strange and random question.
   "Who hasn't?" He chuckles and opens his mouth. "Ah! There we go!" He manages to say with his mouth still wide open. The rain is falling heavier and the ground is getting a bit too wet for my comfort. I stand and brush off my pants from the bit of mud on it, but it doesn't help at all.
    "Afraid of a little rain?" He jokes, winking at me.
    "I don't think this qualifies as a little." I say, looking up at the sky and seeing that we haven't made it through the worst of the storm yet. "I think I might head back."
    The clouds rumble violently, "Yeah, that might be a good idea."
    We pick up our pace gradually as the rain falls heavier and heavier. 
    "Race you to the trees!" He challenges.
    "You're on!" I laugh, taking off as quickly as I can, hoping that I'm leaving him in the dust. 
    It was a nice thought, you know, beating him in this race. Unfortunately, he passes me quickly and almost effortlessly. This is why you exercise, Lynn, so you can not be embarrassed so badly like this.
    "About time!" He jokes when I finally make it.
    I'm nearly doubled over and breathing so heavily I think I'm going to die.
    "Come on, it's not all that dry here, either." We both look up and see that the rain is easily falling through the breaks in the leaves. Great.
     He starts leading me in a different direction than I came, "Wait, I parked that way."
    "Don't worry about it, I'll give you a ride to your car."
    I stop and look at him skeptically. 
    "I'm the guy who threw up all over his date in the tenth grade, remember? I don't think I'm capable of being sly and cool enough to steal you away." I'm not convinced. "Fine, I'll walk you to your car."
    We fluctuate between sprinting and walking back, and by the time we're almost to my car, I think we've both given up on staying as dry as possible. We're both totally soaked and fresh out of worries. 
    I sneak a peek at him. He's handsome. Incredibly handsome actually. It seems strange that an introvert like me has had this chance meeting. God, I hate people, but he . . . he actually got me to talk. Once I was sitting alone in my car, his number in my phone, I stared at the name for at least thirty minutes. Hunter Ryne. 
    What just happened?



Yay! 
I had no intention for half of the story to unfold the way it did, but there you go! Please excuse any errors in grammar, plot, etc.! There's a lot wrong . . . Oh, I'm not going to apologize!

I actually kind of had a lot of fun writing this, so maybe I'll continue the story sometime or write another random one later on? Yeah? I don't know . . . What do you think?

Christmas is in just a couple of days! How exciting! I hope you all have a happy holiday and I'll probably do a gift post here right after Christmas. . . we'll see.

There are two or three new pictures that I posted that you should go look at! They're funny and cute and I think you'll enjoy them! If not, I enjoyed them, so whatever. 


You are filled with so much talent and potential!

Thank you for reading my blog, it means so much!

Don't forget how special you are!

Dasvidanya! 





    

    

There are a few moments in my life that I look back on and think to myself, "Oh God . . ."

The last two posts, at least, have been fairly sad, so I am here today to make you laugh!! And you're welcome for that because for the past hour and a half I've been sitting here and all I could think of to write were incredibly sad topics! Once again, you're welcome.


It was a cold and rainy day back when I was in the first grade, and it had been that way for a week. Needless to say, I was sick. My speech therapy teacher had just taken me out of class and we were on our way to pick up the other kids who were also in my speech class with me. We stopped in one room, waiting patiently for the teacher to stop talking before pulling the two kids from class. I can't remember what the teacher said, but I know that it was  a HILARIOUS joke. I laughed so hard that the biggest snot bubble in all of creation came out of my nose. I didn't even realize it until I saw it out of the corner of my eye! I have no clue if anyone saw it because I reached for a tissue and got rid of the hideous snot bubble immediately, and then ran out of the class room.
It was gross.


Girls.
This is a lesson for you.
During my early years of high school, I believe my freshman year, I did not know that you should not wear a backpack and a skirt at the same time. That particular day, I had decided to look cute and wear a fairly short and flowing pink skirt. I walked off the bus, through the parking lot, through the crowded commons-- YES! It was my freshman year!! I remember! Anyway, through the commons, down the stairs, and did not notice that my backpack had eaten the entirety of the back of my skirt until I went to the bathroom right before first period. For those who saw and did not say a word: I am incredibly displeased with your lack of morality! I'm still praying that maybe no one noticed because I didn't hear anybody, yet again, I tended to block everyone out. 
Either way, girls, please don't wear a backpack and skirt. Secondly, wear shorts under your skirts ALWAYS.


My Papa was diagnosed with cancer about two years ago, so I went up north to help him with doctor visits, etc. One day, I had just finished taking him to the doctor when I decided that I was hungry and wanted a bagel. While the bagel was in the toaster, I searched everywhere in the fridge for the cream cheese, but all I could find was some kind of strawberry cream cheese. No thank you. I called for Papa to tell me where I could find the regular cream cheese, hoping that he would just tell me instead of getting up and making the bagel for me. I told him no, that I could do it, but he insisted.  He asked me to grab him one of the foil-wrapped packages from the fridge door. I had thought for sure that it was butter when I was looking before! I felt so stupid! He spread the cream cheese on the bagel nice and thick and handed it to me with a smile. I didn't think that anything was wrong with the bagel until I took the first bite and almost threw up everywhere. The "cream cheese" tasted like soap. When I mean soap, I mean it had the EXACT texture, and you know that feeling you get on your skin after using bar soap? Yeah, well, my mouth felt like that. I didn't want to be rude because my Papa was feeling very tired and he had made the bagel for me! Quietly, I finished the bagel, only scraping off some excessive chunks of "cream cheese" in the process. After I gulped down the last bite, hating myself and teetering on the edge vomiting, I handed the plate to him and told him to taste it because it tasted too strange to be regular cream cheese. After feeding some to the dog and taking some for himself, he agreed with me. We went back into the kitchen and guess what we found? THE PACKAGE I GRABBED WAS CRISCO. I HATE A GINORMOUS AMOUNT OF CRISCO.
Never, ever eat Crisco. 
Dear God, never do that to yourself.


In 7th grade, I was dating this boy named Michael . . . let's just go with Michael because I'm starting to doubt that that was his name. Anyway! We had only pecked when we kissed--ever. At lunch one day, he talked about making out. Well, it was more of his friends who sat across from us egging us on and Michael heavily considering. Before the conversation was over, the bell rang for us to go to class. Being the overly punctual girl that I am, I hurriedly got ready for class and leaned over to give him a quick kiss and leave, but found out that a "quick kiss" was not his intention. Michael made out with me. However, you will find that it's rather hard to make out with someone when your lips are shut tight and their lips are wrapped around yours and moving quite rapidly. Thanks to my eyes being opened, I saw that our friends were crying they were laughing so hard at the obviously painful sight of our "first make out". Needless to say, I was so embarrassed that I ran away crying afterwards. 

So, minus the tongue, it was basically like that: my mouth going for a peck and his mouth going to devour my face. And however comfortable you feel with this picture, I guarantee my horror in those very long, very terrifying, very displeased moments tops it by far.
Now you look at that picture.
Let that soak in.
Yas.

I think I might start a new link on the side, you know, that neglected top left part of this website that says "Blog, About, Contact," etc. I've been on Pinterest lately constantly saddening myself with something I like to call the "Late Night Feels". Perhaps you guys also like to make yourself sad for no good reason and would like to share in my depressing findings on Pinterest? Oui? I don't know, but if you see a new link that is titled "Late Night Feels" you should stroll on over there late at night and look through it because then we'd be twinsies. Score!

Anwyay! I hope my stories made you laugh, you sick, twisted people.

You shine with a million twinkling lights.

If you were a tree, you'd have the prettiest leaves.

I hope you are all prepared for the upcoming madness and excitement that is the holiday season! 

Bye-bye!

One question:
How are we supposed to know what to do with our lives.
I'm going to start with my personal and still on-going experience.



The one thing I love about being young (like the age of 5) is that you can be anything you want. And I mean ANYTHING. Want to be an astronaut? Awesome! Everyone is going to encourage you and no one is going to say that it seems "unreasonable". Want to be a dancer? Sweet! Keep working on it kid; you'll be great! Want to be a cat? Haha, that's so cute! The world is your oyster as a child and people believe in you as much as you believe in yourself--a lot. Making decisions and being excited about life isn't as difficult and doesn't involve nearly as much calculations and pain medication for your migrations. 
When I was 5, I wanted to be a cat, and dammit, I was going to be a cat! No one told me that I couldn't be a cat. No one told me that it was logically or humanly impossible to become a cat. It was great.
Over the years I changed what I wanted to be from cat to things like a bus driver, writer, singer/dancer/actress, message therapist, going to school for sports medicine, psychology, physical therapist assistant, to animation artist. 
I was told when I was ten that I could not sing and to never do it in public. When I was in the 7th grade, I lost confidence in myself, so my dream of becoming a message therapist and my excitement over going to school for sports medicine vanished, during my senior year, I realized that I wouldn't be able to go to school for physical therapy. But, you know, I really wanted . . . want . . . to be an actress. The feeling of being on the stage and losing yourself to become a character is addicting and revitalizing. However, that isn't practical. Becoming an actress isn't going to support me. I'm going to be like the people in RENT and not be able to afford electricity or die of AIDS ( too soon? ). At least that's what I'm told. 
My confidence in myself in terms of my future has been a roller coaster ride for the past three-four years. I would feel so super uber excited about a particular career, like I knew I would do so great, and then something would come along and push me down. I felt pretty sad and confused and lost for a while, and then I would find something else. Yay! I can do something! I can be somebody! Nope. And the cycle continues.
I thought for sure I had found my path over the summer. Here's what happened up to what's happening:

        After hours and hours and hours and more hours, I was still searching for the perfect degree. College seemed reasonable. College seemed right and the natural next step for me. With everyone pushing me to go to college, why would I not? Well, I found it! BAM! Game writing. I LOVE gaming (something I will go into in another blog) and my true #1 passion is writing, so why would I not go for that? I'd be stupid to. Right? Of course I would. The college in my town doesn't have a degree for game writing or anything like it, so that's a no. I started searching for other colleges and found Full Sail University. It was perfect. Perfect. I would take a class on mythology!! Yes!!! And the classes would really prepare me and I would get to write and I would get to work with games and and and and. . . . *takes deep breath* and mythology! It felt like a godsend. There were only two downsides. One, I would have to be in Florida. I don't know what it is about Florida that makes me so disinterested. Maybe it's the swamps. I had enough of those in Michigan and I bet there are tons more down there. Two, the tuition is out of the freaking butt. There would literally be no way in hell that I would be able to pay for it myself, even with the help of scholarships and grants. Well, shit. Not entirely deterred yet, I started looking up screenwriting and exactly what game writers do. My conclusion was: I can't afford to go to these schools for game writing and there's no reason to go to school to be a writer because I can do this on my own with some self-study on the side!

I started looking for something in the gaming industry instead. After hours (when I mean hours, I mean I was searching for at least sixty-three hours, and this is without a drop of exaggeration) of headaches, cramped wrists, an aching back, and frustration, I stumbled across my answer. I can do art. Like I'm pretty good, I'm no way close to being great and I may never be all that great.  Either way, I am not terrible and am more than willing to better myself. Animation. It looks so very, very cool and it would be an awesome challenge. My plan was to go to school for Animation, get a job as an Animation artist, and then maybe after a few years of faithful and good service to the same company, I could go to my head honcho boss friend and show him/her my writing and see if I could work my way into their writing team. As long as I actually learned to enjoy and love Animation, this plan is pretty damn bullet proof. If I get shot down by my head honcho boss friend, then that's fine because I still love what I'm doing! If he/she says go for it, then I get to write for a living! 

However, my first semester of college as been . . . what's the word? It's been a swirling pool of emotional conflict and confusion. My confidence has been a bipolar mess. As I am now, I'm still interested in working with Animation. The prospect is still entirely appetizing to me and I think I have a chance to really excel. My art classes, though, really pulled me away from that. My Drawing 1 class, I did great in, but I didn't feel really confident in more than two of my pieces. And I don't see myself being able to perfect these works of art to make the games I produce great and breath-taking for the players. I thought I was doing so well in my Intro to Computer Graphics class, but looking back on my grades, I didn't do as well as I thought. 

For the past five months I have been nothing but stressed, depressed, confused, or a mixture of the three. I'm afraid to waste my time going to college for the next 5 some years getting a degree I'm going to fail miserably at. 

I sat down the other night and looked at my book, something I haven't worked on in too long. Within reading a sentence, I could literally feel my stress leave my body and relief and confidence enter in its place. Once I was done with some editing, I sat down and thought really hard. Whenever I'm feeling stressed or broken, writing always lets me breathe, and the only part of me I truly feel confident in is my writing. Besides, if my passions go writing>theatre>art, why am I pursuing #3 and not #1 with every ounce of strength I have left?




You are pressured as you enter the real world to get a job that will provide a hefty and stable income. Working in Animation, I would be making a handsome sum as soon as I found work.Considering the pay and the fact that I would be doing art, which I love, it doesn't seem that horrible of a deal. It was a bargain, really. 


I think I'm growing to find that I don't care, and that the paragraph above isn't really what I want. 


I really want you all to pay attention to all of what I'm about to say, let it soak in.   
A good income is better than doing something that you love. That was the advice I was given when I was searching for a degree.


That is bullshit.

Bullshit. 

There is NO point to life if you are hating yourself every day and coming home drunk, upset, or emotionally exhausted with the only thing dragging you along is the big number on the check every two weeks. That is NOT life. 

My advice to you is to really think of yourself and your own happiness, especially your future happiness, when considering what's next for you.

Is going to college the right step for you? If so, is there a degree that will let you go to work each day loving what you do and who you are? If not, then you need to find a profession that will, even if that means skipping college. College does not decide if you're going to be a failure or not. You do. In my eyes, going to college to be something you're not interested in just to hate yourself in the years to come is failing yourself. Not going to college because you didn't believe in yourself enough and getting stuck in a dead end job instead of becoming a doctor like you wanted to be is failing yourself. 

I want to be a novelist. I want to write for the rest of my life. I want to inspire the world. Buuuuuut being a writer is considered stupid and something that will just lead to a life as an unsuccessful starving artist. I'm told that isn't practical. What isn't practical is wasting years and money on something that I will learn to hate. I would rather kill myself then be unhappy day in and day out. 

I feel like I'm going on a tangent and straying from the point . . .

The point is . . .

Deciding what you want to be in life is hard and you're going to hear a lot of no's, not only from other people, but yourself, too. 

Opportunities are endless and there are just so many things for you to choose from. In the end, you need to find yourself doing what makes you happy, not what lets you eat at Red Lobster every night. If this takes you sixteen years, then it takes you sixteen years! If you already know, then, god dammit, chase after it! What are you waiting for?!?!?!?! The world is your oyster! Go forth and conquer!

Society pressures you to make your decision NOW, but take your time; nothing good comes from rushing.



RENT fans, I'm so sorry for that joke I made earlier. I still think it's really funny . . .


You guys have a fantastic day!

Do something you love!

Love yourself!

You're an amazing creature of the Earth.

Bonsoir! 

If today was my last day on Earth . . . 
Think about it, guys. It's actually a pretty depressing subject, if you ask me, but I'll try not to get all sappy on you about how I wouldn't have enough time to show all of my friends and family how much I love them! D': D':

I would start the day off at 12:00 a.m. by writing letters to those closest to me so they could be given to them when I'm gone.
That would take a really long time, so around 5:30, I'd make my mother a wonderful super awesome breakfast and give it to her in bed. 

Then I'd take my dog to a park and play with her because she doesn't get out enough. . . :'(

Next, I'd take as many friends as I could out to breakfast with me. We'd go to Denny's or IHOP because yes. Oohh, I'd get about fifteen plates of just hash browns!! Yum! 

Then I'd have them open up the greatest amusement park known to man and we'd all have a super awesome amazing time riding roller coasters for FREEEEEEEEE!

If during this time someone could fly in Ian Somerhalder, Josh Hutcherson, or Logan Lerman so I could just give them a hug, that would be pretty nice, too. They're so handsome:)

Around this time, I suppose it would be lunch, sooooooo I'd want Mexican food! I'd get chips and queso and salsa and fajitas and . . . excuse me guys, I think I'm drooling. 

After this, I would like to have one-on-one time with a guy who used to be very special to me but has cut contact with me, just for some closure. 

Then, I would sit in an auditorium, preferably my old high school's. I'd want to just sit there under the lights for a while, and then probably sing (even though I'm an awfully terrible singer! But no one would be there, so who could hear me??)

I would get on a plane next to fly home with my mom. However we'd stop in Springfield, Missouri so I could eat at my FAVORITE restaurant, Umi's!!! It is by far the best tasting asian food and the atmosphere and the service and the food and the food and ugggghhhhh YAS. yaaas.

After eating dinner, I would continue flying home with my madre, where I would spend the rest of my time with my family. 

But when it starts nearing 11:30 p.m. I think I'd like to spend the rest of my time at this certain spot in my hometown where there are trees everywhere, flowers, a stream, and a break in the trees where I could see the stars. 

Let's say this "last day" is when I have a husband or something like that, I'd like to spend those last 30 minutes with him, but, if not, I think that spending it alone or with my mom wouldn't be too bad. 
And then I'd be dead! 
DUN! DUN! DUNNNN!

Yeah, so that was far more depressing than I planned.
I feel like most people are much funnier than I was when planning out their last day on Earth. .  .
I'm sorry for tugging at any heart strings, if I did. 
Yeah, I'm about to cry.
OKAY I'M DONE!
I'll leave you with a funny picture!!!

You are all capable of such great and wonderful things!

Have an adventure! It's Friday!

Ciao!