One question:
How are we supposed to know what to do with our lives.
I'm going to start with my personal and still on-going experience.
The one thing I love about being young (like the age of 5) is that you can be anything you want. And I mean ANYTHING. Want to be an astronaut? Awesome! Everyone is going to encourage you and no one is going to say that it seems "unreasonable". Want to be a dancer? Sweet! Keep working on it kid; you'll be great! Want to be a cat? Haha, that's so cute! The world is your oyster as a child and people believe in you as much as you believe in yourself--a lot. Making decisions and being excited about life isn't as difficult and doesn't involve nearly as much calculations and pain medication for your migrations.
When I was 5, I wanted to be a cat, and dammit, I was going to be a cat! No one told me that I couldn't be a cat. No one told me that it was logically or humanly impossible to become a cat. It was great.
Over the years I changed what I wanted to be from cat to things like a bus driver, writer, singer/dancer/actress, message therapist, going to school for sports medicine, psychology, physical therapist assistant, to animation artist.
I was told when I was ten that I could not sing and to never do it in public. When I was in the 7th grade, I lost confidence in myself, so my dream of becoming a message therapist and my excitement over going to school for sports medicine vanished, during my senior year, I realized that I wouldn't be able to go to school for physical therapy. But, you know, I really wanted . . . want . . . to be an actress. The feeling of being on the stage and losing yourself to become a character is addicting and revitalizing. However, that isn't practical. Becoming an actress isn't going to support me. I'm going to be like the people in RENT and not be able to afford electricity or die of AIDS ( too soon? ). At least that's what I'm told.
My confidence in myself in terms of my future has been a roller coaster ride for the past three-four years. I would feel so super uber excited about a particular career, like I knew I would do so great, and then something would come along and push me down. I felt pretty sad and confused and lost for a while, and then I would find something else. Yay! I can do something! I can be somebody! Nope. And the cycle continues.
I thought for sure I had found my path over the summer. Here's what happened up to what's happening:
After hours and hours and hours and more hours, I was still searching for the perfect degree. College seemed reasonable. College seemed right and the natural next step for me. With everyone pushing me to go to college, why would I not? Well, I found it! BAM! Game writing. I LOVE gaming (something I will go into in another blog) and my true #1 passion is writing, so why would I not go for that? I'd be stupid to. Right? Of course I would. The college in my town doesn't have a degree for game writing or anything like it, so that's a no. I started searching for other colleges and found Full Sail University. It was perfect. Perfect. I would take a class on mythology!! Yes!!! And the classes would really prepare me and I would get to write and I would get to work with games and and and and. . . . *takes deep breath* and mythology! It felt like a godsend. There were only two downsides. One, I would have to be in Florida. I don't know what it is about Florida that makes me so disinterested. Maybe it's the swamps. I had enough of those in Michigan and I bet there are tons more down there. Two, the tuition is out of the freaking butt. There would literally be no way in hell that I would be able to pay for it myself, even with the help of scholarships and grants. Well, shit. Not entirely deterred yet, I started looking up screenwriting and exactly what game writers do. My conclusion was: I can't afford to go to these schools for game writing and there's no reason to go to school to be a writer because I can do this on my own with some self-study on the side!
I started looking for something in the gaming industry instead. After hours (when I mean hours, I mean I was searching for at least sixty-three hours, and this is without a drop of exaggeration) of headaches, cramped wrists, an aching back, and frustration, I stumbled across my answer. I can do art. Like I'm pretty good, I'm no way close to being great and I may never be all that great. Either way, I am not terrible and am more than willing to better myself. Animation. It looks so very, very cool and it would be an awesome challenge. My plan was to go to school for Animation, get a job as an Animation artist, and then maybe after a few years of faithful and good service to the same company, I could go to my head honcho boss friend and show him/her my writing and see if I could work my way into their writing team. As long as I actually learned to enjoy and love Animation, this plan is pretty damn bullet proof. If I get shot down by my head honcho boss friend, then that's fine because I still love what I'm doing! If he/she says go for it, then I get to write for a living!
However, my first semester of college as been . . . what's the word? It's been a swirling pool of emotional conflict and confusion. My confidence has been a bipolar mess. As I am now, I'm still interested in working with Animation. The prospect is still entirely appetizing to me and I think I have a chance to really excel. My art classes, though, really pulled me away from that. My Drawing 1 class, I did great in, but I didn't feel really confident in more than two of my pieces. And I don't see myself being able to perfect these works of art to make the games I produce great and breath-taking for the players. I thought I was doing so well in my Intro to Computer Graphics class, but looking back on my grades, I didn't do as well as I thought.
For the past five months I have been nothing but stressed, depressed, confused, or a mixture of the three. I'm afraid to waste my time going to college for the next 5 some years getting a degree I'm going to fail miserably at.
I sat down the other night and looked at my book, something I haven't worked on in too long. Within reading a sentence, I could literally feel my stress leave my body and relief and confidence enter in its place. Once I was done with some editing, I sat down and thought really hard. Whenever I'm feeling stressed or broken, writing always lets me breathe, and the only part of me I truly feel confident in is my writing. Besides, if my passions go writing>theatre>art, why am I pursuing #3 and not #1 with every ounce of strength I have left?
You are pressured as you enter the real world to get a job that will provide a hefty and stable income. Working in Animation, I would be making a handsome sum as soon as I found work.Considering the pay and the fact that I would be doing art, which I love, it doesn't seem that horrible of a deal. It was a bargain, really.
I think I'm growing to find that I don't care, and that the paragraph above isn't really what I want.
I really want you all to pay attention to all of what I'm about to say, let it soak in.
A good income is better than doing something that you love. That was the advice I was given when I was searching for a degree.
That is bullshit.
Bullshit.
There is NO point to life if you are hating yourself every day and coming home drunk, upset, or emotionally exhausted with the only thing dragging you along is the big number on the check every two weeks. That is NOT life.
My advice to you is to really think of yourself and your own happiness, especially your future happiness, when considering what's next for you.
Is going to college the right step for you? If so, is there a degree that will let you go to work each day loving what you do and who you are? If not, then you need to find a profession that will, even if that means skipping college. College does not decide if you're going to be a failure or not. You do. In my eyes, going to college to be something you're not interested in just to hate yourself in the years to come is failing yourself. Not going to college because you didn't believe in yourself enough and getting stuck in a dead end job instead of becoming a doctor like you wanted to be is failing yourself.
I want to be a novelist. I want to write for the rest of my life. I want to inspire the world. Buuuuuut being a writer is considered stupid and something that will just lead to a life as an unsuccessful starving artist. I'm told that isn't practical. What isn't practical is wasting years and money on something that I will learn to hate. I would rather kill myself then be unhappy day in and day out.
I feel like I'm going on a tangent and straying from the point . . .
The point is . . .
Deciding what you want to be in life is hard and you're going to hear a lot of no's, not only from other people, but yourself, too.
Opportunities are endless and there are just so many things for you to choose from. In the end, you need to find yourself doing what makes you happy, not what lets you eat at Red Lobster every night. If this takes you sixteen years, then it takes you sixteen years! If you already know, then, god dammit, chase after it! What are you waiting for?!?!?!?! The world is your oyster! Go forth and conquer!
Society pressures you to make your decision NOW, but take your time; nothing good comes from rushing.
RENT fans, I'm so sorry for that joke I made earlier. I still think it's really funny . . .
You guys have a fantastic day!
Do something you love!
Love yourself!
You're an amazing creature of the Earth.
Bonsoir!
How are we supposed to know what to do with our lives.
I'm going to start with my personal and still on-going experience.
The one thing I love about being young (like the age of 5) is that you can be anything you want. And I mean ANYTHING. Want to be an astronaut? Awesome! Everyone is going to encourage you and no one is going to say that it seems "unreasonable". Want to be a dancer? Sweet! Keep working on it kid; you'll be great! Want to be a cat? Haha, that's so cute! The world is your oyster as a child and people believe in you as much as you believe in yourself--a lot. Making decisions and being excited about life isn't as difficult and doesn't involve nearly as much calculations and pain medication for your migrations.
When I was 5, I wanted to be a cat, and dammit, I was going to be a cat! No one told me that I couldn't be a cat. No one told me that it was logically or humanly impossible to become a cat. It was great.
Over the years I changed what I wanted to be from cat to things like a bus driver, writer, singer/dancer/actress, message therapist, going to school for sports medicine, psychology, physical therapist assistant, to animation artist.
I was told when I was ten that I could not sing and to never do it in public. When I was in the 7th grade, I lost confidence in myself, so my dream of becoming a message therapist and my excitement over going to school for sports medicine vanished, during my senior year, I realized that I wouldn't be able to go to school for physical therapy. But, you know, I really wanted . . . want . . . to be an actress. The feeling of being on the stage and losing yourself to become a character is addicting and revitalizing. However, that isn't practical. Becoming an actress isn't going to support me. I'm going to be like the people in RENT and not be able to afford electricity or die of AIDS ( too soon? ). At least that's what I'm told.
My confidence in myself in terms of my future has been a roller coaster ride for the past three-four years. I would feel so super uber excited about a particular career, like I knew I would do so great, and then something would come along and push me down. I felt pretty sad and confused and lost for a while, and then I would find something else. Yay! I can do something! I can be somebody! Nope. And the cycle continues.
I thought for sure I had found my path over the summer. Here's what happened up to what's happening:
After hours and hours and hours and more hours, I was still searching for the perfect degree. College seemed reasonable. College seemed right and the natural next step for me. With everyone pushing me to go to college, why would I not? Well, I found it! BAM! Game writing. I LOVE gaming (something I will go into in another blog) and my true #1 passion is writing, so why would I not go for that? I'd be stupid to. Right? Of course I would. The college in my town doesn't have a degree for game writing or anything like it, so that's a no. I started searching for other colleges and found Full Sail University. It was perfect. Perfect. I would take a class on mythology!! Yes!!! And the classes would really prepare me and I would get to write and I would get to work with games and and and and. . . . *takes deep breath* and mythology! It felt like a godsend. There were only two downsides. One, I would have to be in Florida. I don't know what it is about Florida that makes me so disinterested. Maybe it's the swamps. I had enough of those in Michigan and I bet there are tons more down there. Two, the tuition is out of the freaking butt. There would literally be no way in hell that I would be able to pay for it myself, even with the help of scholarships and grants. Well, shit. Not entirely deterred yet, I started looking up screenwriting and exactly what game writers do. My conclusion was: I can't afford to go to these schools for game writing and there's no reason to go to school to be a writer because I can do this on my own with some self-study on the side!
I started looking for something in the gaming industry instead. After hours (when I mean hours, I mean I was searching for at least sixty-three hours, and this is without a drop of exaggeration) of headaches, cramped wrists, an aching back, and frustration, I stumbled across my answer. I can do art. Like I'm pretty good, I'm no way close to being great and I may never be all that great. Either way, I am not terrible and am more than willing to better myself. Animation. It looks so very, very cool and it would be an awesome challenge. My plan was to go to school for Animation, get a job as an Animation artist, and then maybe after a few years of faithful and good service to the same company, I could go to my head honcho boss friend and show him/her my writing and see if I could work my way into their writing team. As long as I actually learned to enjoy and love Animation, this plan is pretty damn bullet proof. If I get shot down by my head honcho boss friend, then that's fine because I still love what I'm doing! If he/she says go for it, then I get to write for a living!
However, my first semester of college as been . . . what's the word? It's been a swirling pool of emotional conflict and confusion. My confidence has been a bipolar mess. As I am now, I'm still interested in working with Animation. The prospect is still entirely appetizing to me and I think I have a chance to really excel. My art classes, though, really pulled me away from that. My Drawing 1 class, I did great in, but I didn't feel really confident in more than two of my pieces. And I don't see myself being able to perfect these works of art to make the games I produce great and breath-taking for the players. I thought I was doing so well in my Intro to Computer Graphics class, but looking back on my grades, I didn't do as well as I thought.
For the past five months I have been nothing but stressed, depressed, confused, or a mixture of the three. I'm afraid to waste my time going to college for the next 5 some years getting a degree I'm going to fail miserably at.
I sat down the other night and looked at my book, something I haven't worked on in too long. Within reading a sentence, I could literally feel my stress leave my body and relief and confidence enter in its place. Once I was done with some editing, I sat down and thought really hard. Whenever I'm feeling stressed or broken, writing always lets me breathe, and the only part of me I truly feel confident in is my writing. Besides, if my passions go writing>theatre>art, why am I pursuing #3 and not #1 with every ounce of strength I have left?
You are pressured as you enter the real world to get a job that will provide a hefty and stable income. Working in Animation, I would be making a handsome sum as soon as I found work.Considering the pay and the fact that I would be doing art, which I love, it doesn't seem that horrible of a deal. It was a bargain, really.
I think I'm growing to find that I don't care, and that the paragraph above isn't really what I want.
I really want you all to pay attention to all of what I'm about to say, let it soak in.
A good income is better than doing something that you love. That was the advice I was given when I was searching for a degree.
That is bullshit.
Bullshit.
There is NO point to life if you are hating yourself every day and coming home drunk, upset, or emotionally exhausted with the only thing dragging you along is the big number on the check every two weeks. That is NOT life.
My advice to you is to really think of yourself and your own happiness, especially your future happiness, when considering what's next for you.
Is going to college the right step for you? If so, is there a degree that will let you go to work each day loving what you do and who you are? If not, then you need to find a profession that will, even if that means skipping college. College does not decide if you're going to be a failure or not. You do. In my eyes, going to college to be something you're not interested in just to hate yourself in the years to come is failing yourself. Not going to college because you didn't believe in yourself enough and getting stuck in a dead end job instead of becoming a doctor like you wanted to be is failing yourself.
I want to be a novelist. I want to write for the rest of my life. I want to inspire the world. Buuuuuut being a writer is considered stupid and something that will just lead to a life as an unsuccessful starving artist. I'm told that isn't practical. What isn't practical is wasting years and money on something that I will learn to hate. I would rather kill myself then be unhappy day in and day out.
I feel like I'm going on a tangent and straying from the point . . .
The point is . . .
Deciding what you want to be in life is hard and you're going to hear a lot of no's, not only from other people, but yourself, too.
Opportunities are endless and there are just so many things for you to choose from. In the end, you need to find yourself doing what makes you happy, not what lets you eat at Red Lobster every night. If this takes you sixteen years, then it takes you sixteen years! If you already know, then, god dammit, chase after it! What are you waiting for?!?!?!?! The world is your oyster! Go forth and conquer!
Society pressures you to make your decision NOW, but take your time; nothing good comes from rushing.
RENT fans, I'm so sorry for that joke I made earlier. I still think it's really funny . . .
You guys have a fantastic day!
Do something you love!
Love yourself!
You're an amazing creature of the Earth.
Bonsoir!